So as the weather changes, so do I. I had a rough week. I was tired, short-tempered and ready to pounce on my unsuspecting housemates. So I took a breather and tried hard to relax, which involving walking, talking, and sleeping. I watched some movies on our new plasma flat panel television and newscasts about the death of Michael Jackson. Some hail him as the greatest entertainer while others saw him as a tragic figure. In reflection, I can think of a few truisms. Fame can be fleeting and isn't always tangible.
Fame can do more harm than good to sensitive people. Life is short. You can't take it with you. Life isn't measured in dollars and cents. And death is inevitable. What is my legacy? What will people remember about me if at all? Will they remember my work history or university grades or will they remember my smile or laugh? I used to always look for the next accomplishment. Because I'd dream so big, I'd feel disappointment.
My life has improved a lot so I feel more content with who and where I am. I was feeling out of sorts but from someplace inside of me, I was inspired to paint. I looked at some photos I took last summer and decided to do another painting of driftwood. But it wasn't just another painting. It turned out to be one of my very best I think. Perhaps I'm entering a new creative phase of painting.
The other day, I had a conversation about perfectionism with two others. The consensus was that one can strive for perfection but perfection in humans doesn't exist. Making mistakes helps one to learn. If one never makes an error, would one ever learn? So out of mistakes and corrections, one learns resilience, knowledge, insight and compassion. No one is keeping tabs on Sandra's daily performance in her work and other activities. The only one keeping track is Sandra so perhaps it would be beneficial for her to not think so much about higher proficiency but have a more relaxed attitude and enjoy the time she has on this planet.
There are only a few deadlines or work schedule commitments that I have in a given month. I am fairly good at time management, however, when I have free time, it isn't really free because when I give myself a task I really work at it. Also I spend a lot of time mulling over things in my mind. So when I get busy, I get tired. It's easy to do the math, but maybe not so easy to say no and not take on more things. So for the rest of the day, I'm not going to launch into a new project. Instead I'm going to do as little as possible!